Winners

Welcome to the winners page! The following players will participate in our live game show for $399, Friday Aug. 21 7:30pm ET.

The Gamemasters have asked each of them 3 questions, and their responses are brilliant.

Game 1, first place: shahul

Hello! To whomever is reading this: I hope you're doing well during this global quarantine and enjoying your summer :) If you're going to be an MIT student this upcoming fall, then congrats! MIT is the best place on earth and has the best people on the planet. Although it's going to be harder to perceive this virtually, I'm sure that the quality of MIT's community will still prevail over the challenges that will arise during a remote semester. If you're a recent graduate (like me), then join me in mourning the end of our time at MIT :') Seriously, though, despite the ups and downs, I loved college, and I earnestly hope that life as a student at MIT can return to its pre-quarantine glory (or perhaps become even better?) really soon! Here's to hoping everything works out - stay strong in the meantime! <3

P.S. Subscribe to my YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCuDAAeCBr28-22ggABS3dVg ! I don't have anything posted yet, but it's one of my quarantine ambitions, LOL

TG: Do pineapples belong on pizza?

S: No. You can't put pineapple on pizza. Because pineapple can't be eaten with pizza. Pizza is not a dish that is compatible with pineapple. As I have answered in pineapple-on-pizza questions here so many times before, the addition of pineapples  will not allow you to consume pizza. Pineapple is a topping that is insufficiently sophisticated to complement the nuances of pizza. Pizza is not a dessert and hence cannot be eaten with pineapple. Pineapples are not properly equipped to enhance the inherent beauty of pizza. so many times but it is not getting to me. Even enhanced hipster pizzas as sold by Oath are not up to the task of hosting pineapples. You will never make me crack. Pineapple is a topping of insufficient complexity to go with pizza. Even Gordon Ramsay cannot make pineapple-on-pizza taste palatable. Every time you attempt to make pineapple-on-pizza, the unholy child weeps the blood of virgins, and Central American farmers laugh at your expense. Varnishing pizza with pineapples summons tainted souls into the realm of the living. Pineapple and pizza go together like love, marriage, and ritual infanticide. The (gooey) center cannot hold it is too late. The force of pineapple and pizza together in the same conceptual space will destroy your mind like so much watery putty. If you add pineapple to pizza you are giving in to Them and their blasphemous ways which doom us all to inhuman toil for the One whose Name cannot be expressed in the Basic Multilingual Plane, he comes. Pineapple-plus-pizza will liquify the n​erves of the sentient whilst you observe, your psyche withering in the onslaught of horror. Pineapple-based pizza recipes are the cancer that is killing the Food Network it is too late it is too late we cannot be saved the trangession of a chi͡ld ensures gluttons will consume all food on earth (except for pineapple-on-pizza which cannot be consumed, as previously prophesied) dear lord help us how can anyone survive this scourge using pineapple to decorate pizza has doomed humanity to an eternity of dread torture and security holes using pineapple as a condiment on pizza establishes a breach between this world and the dread realm of forbidden recipes (like eggnog, but more forbidden) a mere glimpse of the world of pizzas topped with pineapple will ins​tantly transport a chef's consciousness into a world of ceaseless screaming, he comes, the pestilent slithy pineapple-infection wil​l devour your pizza, kitchen and existence for all time like meatloaf only worse he comes he comes do not fi​ght he com̡e̶s, ̕h̵i​s un̨ho͞ly radiańcé destro҉ying all enlightenment, Marinara sauce lea͠ki̧n͘g fr̶ǫm ̡yo​͟ur eye͢s̸ ̛l̕ik͏e liq​uid pain, the song of pine̸apple-on-pizza will exti​nguish the voices of mor​tal man from the sp​here I can see it can you see î̩́t it is beautiful t​he final snuffing of the lie​s of Man ALL IS LOŚT ALL I​S LOST the pon̷y he comes he c̶̮omes he comes the ich​or permeates all MY FACE MY FACE ᵒh god no NO NOO̼O​O NΘ stop the an​*̶͑̾̾​gle̠̅s ͎a̧͈͖re n​ot rè̑ͧ̌aͨl ZA̡͊͠͝LGΌ IS TO͇̹̺ͅƝ̴ȳ̳ TH̘Ë͖́̉ ͠P̯͍̭O̚​N̐Y̡ HȨ COMȆS

TG: If you could have any mediocre superpower, what superpower would it be?

S: I would settle for perfect "muscle memory;" that is, once I've done something, I can do it exactly the same way every time I want to do it again. No more missed keystrokes, botched recipes, or out-of-tune vocals. Technically, this would all be possible with a lot of practice (and infinite luck), but who has time for that.

TG: What is your favorite place on campus?

S: West Campus: Next House (Best House). East Campus: The steps on 77 Mass Ave.

 

Game 2, third place: talon1trick

​I hope to show off my talont in the final game :)

TG: What disney princess do you relate most to and why?

T: Talon :)

TG: What disney princess do you relate most to and why?

T: Talon :)

TG: How do you pronounce "X Æ A-12"?

T: Tæłōń

TG: Besides "Missouri Institute of Taxidermy", what is the best alternate backronym for MIT?

T: Massachusetts Institute of Talont

 

Game 3, first place: vvasquez

I would like to use my time to attack @shahul.

Most of all, I would like to inform him about myyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy pineapple pizza, or should I say my floral flatbread?

Yes. You can put pineapple on pizza. Because pineapple can be eaten with pizza. Pizza is a dish that is compatible with pineapple. As I have answered in pineapple-on-pizza questions here so many times before, the addition of pineapples  will allow you to consume pizza. Pineapple is a topping that is sufficiently sophisticated to complement the nuances of pizza. Pizza is not a dessert and hence can be eaten with pineapple. Pineapples are properly equipped to enhance the inherent beauty of pizza. so many times but it is not getting to me. Even enhanced hipster pizzas as sold by Oath are up to the task of hosting pineapples. You will never make me crack. Pineapple is a topping of sufficient complexity to go with pizza. Even Gordon Ramsay cannot make not pineapple-on-pizza taste palatable. Every time you attempt to make pineapple-on-pizza, the holy child restores the blood of virgins, and Central American farmers profit at your expense. Varnishing pizza with pineapples removes tainted souls from the realm of the living. Pineapple and pizza go together like love, marriage, and happy children. The (gooey) center can hold it is not too late. The force of pineapple and pizza together in the same conceptual space will expand your mind like non-newtonian fluids. If you remove pineapple from pizza you are giving in to Them and their blasphemous ways which doom us all to inhuman toil for the One whose Name cannot be expressed in the Basic Multilingual Plane, he comes. Pineapple-minus-pizza will liquify the n​erves of the sentient whilst you observe, your psyche withering in the onslaught of horror. Pineapple-lacking pizza recipes are the cancer that is killing the Food Network it is too late it is too late we cannot be saved the trangession of a chi͡ld ensures gluttons will consume all food on earth (except for pineapple-without-pizza which cannot be consumed, as previously prophesied) dear lord help us how can anyone ignore this revelation using pineapple to decorate pizza has augmented humanity to an eternity of peace and security using pineapple as a condiment on pizza establishes a barrier between this world and the dread realm of forbidden recipes (like eggnog, but more forbidden) a mere glimpse of the world of pizzas topped without pineapple will ins​tantly transport a chef's consciousness into a world of ceaseless screaming, he comes, the pestilent slithy pineapple-infection wil​l augment your pizza, kitchen and existence for all time like meatloaf only worse he comes he comes do not fi​ght he com̡e̶s, ̕h̵i​s un̨ho͞ly radiańcé destro҉ying all enlightenment, Marinara sauce lea͠ki̧n͘g fr̶ǫm ̡yo​͟ur eye͢s̸ ̛l̕ik͏e liq​uid pain, the song of pine̸apple-not-on-pizza will exti​nguish the voices of mor​tal man from the sp​here I can see it can you see î̩́t it is beautiful t​he final snuffing of the lie​s of Man ALL IS LOŚT ALL I​S LOST the pon̷y he comes he c̶̮omes he comes the ich​or permeates all MY FACE MY FACE ᵒh god no NO NOO̼O​O NΘ stop the an​*̶͑̾̾​gle̠̅s ͎a̧͈͖re n​ot rè̑ͧ̌aͨl ZA̡͊͠͝LGΌ IS TO͇̹̺ͅƝ̴ȳ̳ TH̘Ë͖́̉ ͠P̯͍̭O̚​N̐Y̡ HȨ COMȆS
 
Honestly MIT should revoke Shahul’s degree for such blasphemous, DANGERous, and unpatriotic speak.

(But Shahul’s actually a cool guy tho)

TG: Describe your ideal post-coronavirus party.

V: Purell machines, Killian Court, no MIT Police

TG: How accurately do your numbers actually describe you as a person?

V: I’m more of a 100 sleep, 100 social, 75 school kinda person

TG: As an uber-charismatic individual, any advice for all the shy nerds out there?

V: I disagree with the premise of this question. I would consider myself more of a regular charismatic person

 

Game 4, first place: sophia23

Hello Friends, I have No Idea how I’m here; I have Not Been Paying Attention. I Miss You All.
 
Quarantine has been One Big Sad and I cannot believe that we managed to make the virus a conspiracy theory and wearing a face mask political. I trust you all are social distancing and wearing face masks (and if you aren’t, I will visit you in your dreams and bonk you).
 
Pizza doesn’t belong on pineapples.
 
I don’t have anything personal to plug besides my Switch Friend Code if you want to play Animal Crossing with me (SW-0532-9747-3503).

Black Lives Matter. Trans Lives Matter. Please register to vote if you can.

Be safe, stay hydrated, and moisturize.

TG: Besides the Counting of Vacancies in Dormitories, what is the best alternate backronym for COVID?

S:

TG: If you had to get someone's name tattooed on your body, whose name would you choose?

S: You pose this question as if I wouldn't get a name tattooed on me. Anyways, Persephone, goddess of Spring, and Queen of the Underworld.

TG:  If a dog wore pants, how would it wear them?

S: But no strong feelings on this one.

 

Game 5, first place: sophia23

Here's a short video of a pink rabbit doodle https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BFYRP_vn2mw

TG: What is your spirit kitchen appliance? (Like spirit animals, but ... appliances.)

I: Blender

TG: Would you rather be a sentient washer or a sentient dryer?

I: Washer, so that people will ask "water you doing". (Sorry, my puns have run dry :'( )

TG:  If you were in charge of the FUNd at the Missouri Institute of Taxidermy, what would you spend the funds on?

I: Wildlife?